Your once amazing relationship just went bad courtesy of your man who cheated on you. Here’s what you should do.
1. Take a little time to be alone. A lot of questions would cross your mind and a lot of what did I do wrong? would also pass your mind. You won’t be feeling so great at the moment and the best thing to do first, is to be calm and be alone. This would make your partner feel remorseful and just in case he planned to get on the defense, this would bar him from doing that.
2. Take care of yourself while alone. Eat well, sleep well, exercise well and pay great deal of attention to yourself. Do not neglect your utmost needs at this period, put yourself before anybody/anything. It is one period you are allowed to be so damn selfish.
3. Mourn the loss. Betrayal hurts as much as losing someone. It is an emotional pain that throws you off balance and even the strongest people have found it to be the lowest moments of their lives. Take your time to purge yourself of every emotion you are feeling. If you need to wail, cry like a child and weep, do that. It would make you feel better when the emotions are gone.
4. Don’t push for details. Except you are hundred percent sure you want to move on from the relationship and you don’t mind hating your partner forever, do not ask for every single detail that happened with the other woman. Some details are too messy and heartwrenching to hear, yes you wanna hear them but do they make you feel better? If it doesn’t make you feel better, then let it go.
5. Don’t try to get even. No. Do not do that. This hurts, yes it does. You are extremely-over-the-top mad and yes you have every right to be but getting even is the lowest thing you can think of at the moment. You wouldn’t feel better. So please this isn’t the time to hook up with an ex lover or FWB.
6. Forgive him and yourself. This is the hardest part because it hurts to be in your place and you are so angry that someone you trusted so much can do this to you. But guess what? You are not forgiving him for him, you are forgiving him for you. You would feel a huge surge of relief when you forgive him coupled with the happiness and peace you’d feel from within. You will be able to move on without baggage from the past. When you forgive him, you are forgiving yourself. Think of it that way.
7. Trust again. Whether you decide to work it out with him or move on, you need to learn to trust again. You need to realise not every man is like the one who just toiled with your heart and that there are better ones out there who would lay their world at your feet. The only way you can be with those people with no issues is when you learn to trust. If you don’t, you will end up being paranoid in every relationship you find yourself in.
If you decide to move on with this person however, tell him you need time to trust again. And make sure he is ready to severe ties with the person he cheated with and willing to go every length to help you trust him again.
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